I, Madman

 
 My Default “can’t sleep” film. 
The main character, Virginia, loves to read horror (already we have so much in common). She is an aspiring actress (we part ways there), and works in a used book shop with her eccentric friend, Mona. 
The film begins with a scene playing out from the book she is reading, “Much of Madness, More of Sin” 

I had hoped that there would be such a book published but apparently it’s some reference to Edgar Allen Poe.  Anyway, the whole thing is a bit like a comic book, quite moody and Jenny Wright is a ditz who loves to read horror. 
 
It’s not the most remarkable film in the whole entire word, but it works.  A good watchable light horror for bedtime.

As it happens this is exactly the thing you shouldn’t do when you’re having trouble sleeping, but…whatever. I  can do what I want.

-J

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Graveyard Bones from Ghost to Ghost-part 2

This is the second installment of my paranormal postings. You can check out the first one here.

Cemeteries and graveyards tend to be associated with ghosts and scary happenings. If you believe ghosts are simply imprints of a life once lived, a soul with unfinished business, or the spirit returning to loved ones, then it seems odd that they should reside in such a place. They can be peaceful places, but you have to admit, as the sun sets and shadows appear…things starts to get spooky.

Abney Park, London

Old St. Mary’s, London


There’s nothing better than a stroll through an overgrown graveyard…in daylight.

Here is supposed evidence of a haunt in a graveyard as seen on Ghost Hunters.

 


Sometimes graveyards spring up in odd places. Cow fields, playgrounds, front yards, and car parks. I’m sure most people have caught wind of the Richard III discovery. How glamorous. I wonder if he got a laugh from it or was appalled as his grave was decorated with asphalt. Did he haunt the place? Anyone?

I’m impartial when it comes to believing in life after death, but I’m open. I do enjoy a good ghost story, real or created. Some of the best stories I heard are those from CBS Radio Mystery Theatre, Lights out and similar programs from long ago. Relic Radio is a good site to check out for old Horror radio programs, as well as other genres. You can find a whole load of CBS RMT episodes here.

Have you ever been curious to know what it’s like to haunt a house as a ghost? You can have a go if fancy! Play Haunt the House.

 ooooooooooh!!!!

-J










Scary Stories

But first….

And now. A distant memory came back today from many years ago. When I was a kid I had a copy of The three Scary Stories books by Alvin Schwartz   and the crap-your-pants illustrations still blow me away. I’m not sure precisely when I became a horror obsessive, but I believe Stephen Gammell is partly responsible. Thank you, Sir. Only a few illustrators stand out in my world. Gammell, Kay Nielsen and Quentin Blake are fine examples.  And me…I stand out…in my world. 

 

So as the day went on, ideas went flat and creativity dwindled. I decided a massive pot of chili needed to happen with homemade tortillas (can’t find that shit on etsy)  a few dozen cups of tea and I was back in action. 

I searched for the Scary Stories trilogy on Amazon to see if I could find cheap used copies and I did, in fact, find the original publication for not the kind of cheap I had in mind. I also discovered that at some point, someone else decided they could do a better job illustrating *folklore.

 (*regurgitated folklore, albeit, in an interesting way.  Take cat up-chuck,  have you not seen cat puke? Once there was a mouse, and there are elements of the same mouse still in it, just ..)

My heart broke a little bit. I couldn’t explain why, but I can only imagine this is how some people feel when a film is remade for the 10th time in 20 years, or a bad cover song is rendered from someone who only recently left the womb.  I suppose this hits a nerve.  I don’t blame people for wanting to ride the familiar tasting gravy train.  That’s why nearly every pop single, despite the genre, seems to be going down the dance road and featuring  David Guetta or Calvin Harris. When something works, it’s worked to death. Fair enough, but for the love of Christ, why replace THOSE illustrations? You cannot top them. They’re near enough to perfectionI’ve had a brief glance at Brett Helquist’s work, and while he clearly has talent and ability, I’m not sleeping with the lights on.  All I can think of is that the publisher thought too many soccer moms were hesitant to let their delicate clones be exposed to something that might taint their minds (after filming those same children singing Nicki Mirage and posting it on youtube).  Perhaps it is just business.  I don’t really care.



I rarely opened those pages for the stories. They were stories I had heard a million times before around a campfire (hahahaha no, not a campfire, that’s silly..did you ever watch “are you afraid of the dark” though? ). Come to think of it, I can’t remember one story, but I recall my heart pounding when I saw this image.

 I’d stay awake for hours, too frightened to move. I consciously ventured into this world of horror only when I knew there would be someone awake.

These have influenced me tremendously and I feel disheartened at the idea a generation of miniatures will miss the frightening, sleepless nights, peeing your pants because there’s no way in hell a foot touches the floor. I think a good scare is as healthy as a good sneeze, or a good night’s sleep (haha), a good meal and a good laugh. The art of Stephen Gammell works. His wispy ink lines, figures of an implied shape but without sharp definition or blatant gore, landscapes that float, electrified hair, and sunken eyes. It is an image of fear itself (not the not-so-impressive hour long tv program)


I’ve noticed that I am not alone in this heartbreak, though i’m late to find out.  Many who have been touched by the Gammell Terror also speak up about those HarperCollins bastards. SEE?

-J