More Madness From the Field

 Ok. After the successful shifting of two albums so far, I’m inspired, moved, motivated, and sleepless… AND not in the mood to watch Fargo for the thirteenth time in two weeks (i’m not kidding…I love the soundtrack and accents, It’s Prairie Home Companion meets goodfellas..or..something else that’s violent).
Anyway, so on the menu tonight are a few from the top of the cd piles. Added a few extra tracks as well. 

Bjork

Bjork, Debut ( I don’t actually know if that is her debut album, would be pretty silly if it wasn’t! but it could be her debut non crap album) and with it is a little signed autograph note she left for a man named Paul in 1994 ( Paul doesn’t want it now) So if your name is Paul and you happen to really dig Bjork, or know a man named Paul who digs Bjork, are you still questioning the validity of synchronicity?
Have a listen.

To Buy on Ebay 



Violently Happy

Human Behavio(u)r

 


Master P 

Right, This is a two disc album, complete with some kind of holographic cover depicting Master P (Da Last Don) doing some sort of hand gesture. I’m not sure what he’s trying to prove with this behavior. So, I should warn you, there are no swear words. This is an edited album so, it is church friendly anyway.

Mama Raised Me (yea? Are you sure about that?)

 

Cold 

Crickey, this is a friggin’ amazing album. I listened to it yesterday and jammed out a little there..
Super production,  lovely packaging and disc art. There is a crack in the case cover, so what?
I’m really pleased to have heard this again.
 

Send in the Clowns

Just Got Wicked

 

Soundgarden

Another 90’s Flashback, another good album. Obviously, Black Hole Sun is still a winner.  

Head Down

Black Hole Sun (Still a damn good tune)
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Ebayniac Fo Sho!

Wow. I haven’t listened to these in, like, seriously forever. I think a tear ran down my cheek. Or my snot was making its way north for the summer. 

Demon Knight: 
Hey, it’s not too bad really.  I won’t sell anything I’m too embarrassed to sing with the windows down at a really long and unforgiving red light on a hot steamy Monday afternoon or in front of cats. Cats are the worst critics. I was attacked once for singing Dinah Washington’s Mad about the boy….15 stitches in the eye.
To Buy on Ebay:

**Let it be known…it might take a moment for the track to start playing here. or anywhere here…I don’t know why, it’s the way things are.
The Prodigy:
I really loved this album when I bought it and I don’t think I can fault it for anything listening to it a few reincarnations later. 
Still a good listen. Maybe even a little dance sesh in the living room? eh?…yea….
To Buy on Ebay: 

Graveyard Bones from Ghost to Ghost-part 2

This is the second installment of my paranormal postings. You can check out the first one here.

Cemeteries and graveyards tend to be associated with ghosts and scary happenings. If you believe ghosts are simply imprints of a life once lived, a soul with unfinished business, or the spirit returning to loved ones, then it seems odd that they should reside in such a place. They can be peaceful places, but you have to admit, as the sun sets and shadows appear…things starts to get spooky.

Abney Park, London

Old St. Mary’s, London


There’s nothing better than a stroll through an overgrown graveyard…in daylight.

Here is supposed evidence of a haunt in a graveyard as seen on Ghost Hunters.

 


Sometimes graveyards spring up in odd places. Cow fields, playgrounds, front yards, and car parks. I’m sure most people have caught wind of the Richard III discovery. How glamorous. I wonder if he got a laugh from it or was appalled as his grave was decorated with asphalt. Did he haunt the place? Anyone?

I’m impartial when it comes to believing in life after death, but I’m open. I do enjoy a good ghost story, real or created. Some of the best stories I heard are those from CBS Radio Mystery Theatre, Lights out and similar programs from long ago. Relic Radio is a good site to check out for old Horror radio programs, as well as other genres. You can find a whole load of CBS RMT episodes here.

Have you ever been curious to know what it’s like to haunt a house as a ghost? You can have a go if fancy! Play Haunt the House.

 ooooooooooh!!!!

-J










Rats- Friend, Foe…or Fried?

I’d like to talk about rats.  A nightmare to some, pets for a few and testing subjects for us all. 

 

Personally, I happen to like rats. I happen to like most things that have a mother (except some monkeys and people, and I’m not too sure about cockroaches, but I do miss having them around) So, I find it hard to understand why they have such a horrific time in our world. Getting blamed for wiping out a chunk of the population (did they really do this?) and remunerating mankind by sacrificing themselves as lab animals, doomed to spend their lives as test subjects for the prevention of human death, longevity of human beauty and food preservation for human consumption.  Why? 

 https://i1.wp.com/www.corbisimages.com/images/Corbis-BE081862.jpg

Ah well…unpleasant as it may be, you would think they would gain some respect in the process. Without them, you could argue, medicinal advances would not be made and we would not have the privilege of paying half our wages for health insurance, to which we are denied should we have the gall to make a claim to it and therefore we die young anyway. 

Why then must these little creatures, as well as many others sustain this torture under the guise of health, happiness and prosperity. Ah.. I think that last one may have something to do with it… 

Anyway, it’s rather unfortunate but there are ways we may be able to rectify this unfairness. Even if you haven’t got the means to rally up protesters or anything (like, would that even make a difference? what, for five minutes, maybe)

You can change your world by changing the way you think.  If you disagree with such things, then the first place to start would be to abstain from all that which is derived in this manner.
 Start with one thing this week. It may not make an immediate difference, but the journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.

In anycase, I have come across some interesting examples of evil rats.   The first being the James Herbert Trilogy. I have only read 2.5 of the three. I…got distracted.  The first in the trilogy as you well know was fabo. I suppose when you get into the second and third, you know what you’re up against. There is no invisible terror in the begining and a monster you cannot see is by far greater and more powerful than one which you can see. 
 Deadly Eyes is crap. I’m sorry but it’s crap.

but the rats are hilarious

Here is another example of a rat that should not exist if, in fact, it did exist. 

Giant rat caught in China
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/4688453/Giant-rat-caught-in-China.html


Eating wires is a particularly bad habit of rats and mice. In fact a similar episode like the woman in this article happened to my mom, which would be particularly bad if something like this was alive and making it’s way to you, car or no car.
 For reference, this is what the Montauk Monster looked like. Based on its teeth and front paws, the creature was determined to most likely be a raccoon.
 And it would not be advisable to eat these creatures, because as one Joel Brinkley points out, it makes you aggressive. ( Like we need to eat rats to be aggressive, we practically are rats, less civilized, perhaps.)

And one more mention of these little darling rodents…


-J

Scary Stories

But first….

And now. A distant memory came back today from many years ago. When I was a kid I had a copy of The three Scary Stories books by Alvin Schwartz   and the crap-your-pants illustrations still blow me away. I’m not sure precisely when I became a horror obsessive, but I believe Stephen Gammell is partly responsible. Thank you, Sir. Only a few illustrators stand out in my world. Gammell, Kay Nielsen and Quentin Blake are fine examples.  And me…I stand out…in my world. 

 

So as the day went on, ideas went flat and creativity dwindled. I decided a massive pot of chili needed to happen with homemade tortillas (can’t find that shit on etsy)  a few dozen cups of tea and I was back in action. 

I searched for the Scary Stories trilogy on Amazon to see if I could find cheap used copies and I did, in fact, find the original publication for not the kind of cheap I had in mind. I also discovered that at some point, someone else decided they could do a better job illustrating *folklore.

 (*regurgitated folklore, albeit, in an interesting way.  Take cat up-chuck,  have you not seen cat puke? Once there was a mouse, and there are elements of the same mouse still in it, just ..)

My heart broke a little bit. I couldn’t explain why, but I can only imagine this is how some people feel when a film is remade for the 10th time in 20 years, or a bad cover song is rendered from someone who only recently left the womb.  I suppose this hits a nerve.  I don’t blame people for wanting to ride the familiar tasting gravy train.  That’s why nearly every pop single, despite the genre, seems to be going down the dance road and featuring  David Guetta or Calvin Harris. When something works, it’s worked to death. Fair enough, but for the love of Christ, why replace THOSE illustrations? You cannot top them. They’re near enough to perfectionI’ve had a brief glance at Brett Helquist’s work, and while he clearly has talent and ability, I’m not sleeping with the lights on.  All I can think of is that the publisher thought too many soccer moms were hesitant to let their delicate clones be exposed to something that might taint their minds (after filming those same children singing Nicki Mirage and posting it on youtube).  Perhaps it is just business.  I don’t really care.



I rarely opened those pages for the stories. They were stories I had heard a million times before around a campfire (hahahaha no, not a campfire, that’s silly..did you ever watch “are you afraid of the dark” though? ). Come to think of it, I can’t remember one story, but I recall my heart pounding when I saw this image.

 I’d stay awake for hours, too frightened to move. I consciously ventured into this world of horror only when I knew there would be someone awake.

These have influenced me tremendously and I feel disheartened at the idea a generation of miniatures will miss the frightening, sleepless nights, peeing your pants because there’s no way in hell a foot touches the floor. I think a good scare is as healthy as a good sneeze, or a good night’s sleep (haha), a good meal and a good laugh. The art of Stephen Gammell works. His wispy ink lines, figures of an implied shape but without sharp definition or blatant gore, landscapes that float, electrified hair, and sunken eyes. It is an image of fear itself (not the not-so-impressive hour long tv program)


I’ve noticed that I am not alone in this heartbreak, though i’m late to find out.  Many who have been touched by the Gammell Terror also speak up about those HarperCollins bastards. SEE?

-J